Monday, August 6, 2012

Counting More Than Just The Days

"I am counting on the Lord; Yes, I am counting on Him. 
I have put my hope in His word."
Psalm 130:5

Here we are still waiting. Waiting for the last leg of this race. I would love to say that it has gotten easier, that the excitement and anticipation of having him home soon has been enough to drown out the more hurtful and harder truths. There has been nothing harder than watching my son grow older through pictures and not being there in the everyday details; in the memory making. To say that we will have catching up to do is a huge understatement. Each day that goes by is just a reminder of this hard truth that my son is growing up without me right now, and I want nothing more than to be with him in the flesh and grow together.

Here is the paperwork update... We got word from the US Embassy in Ethiopia last Tuesday that our case was submitted to them and they would be looking over it and notifying us along the way. This process usually takes a couple of weeks IF all goes smoothly, the word "if" being the main word, because nothing hardly ever goes smoothly in the adoption paperwork world. Last Friday, we got another email saying that they have cleared Jordan and I as the parents and now they are checking on his orphan status. Praise God! Two emails in one week, I couldn't believe it. Today, we got word that they have requested a phone interview with the key witness in our situation, and so now, we wait patiently and hopeful, that a phone interview will be sufficient for our case, and we will get the final email saying WE ARE CLEARED TO TRAVEL. At that point we book our planes as soon as possible and go and pick him up. 

So, what have we been doing these past few weeks to make the time go by. As we go through one of the hardest trials of waiting we have ever been through, we find ourselves on our faces at the feet of Jesus on a daily basis. Honestly, waking up in the morning and starting a new day in the States is the last thing I want to do. I want to be waking up and getting on a plane. That is the only thing in the entire world that I want to do right now, and honestly, doing anything else annoys me and is uninteresting. I feel like my days consist of a bunch of busy work to pass the time which, lets be honest, busy work puts everyone in such a chipper mood (note the sarcasm), so I have no other choice than every morning to fall at the feet of Jesus, asking him to change my heart and spirit, and proclaim to Him that EVERY DAY that I breathe life is yet another one of HIS days to get glory, even in the waiting phase. It is so easy to serve Jesus and to proclaim His glory in the good and happy times, but so hard in the struggling times. His glory is still there though, we just have to choose to see it. 

Here are a few things I have been doing to keep my mind off of what I really want to be doing. Birthday parties for the kids, cleaning out our house, date nights (lots of date nights), field trips with the kids, you get the picture. I decided to do one last garage sale fundraiser to help fund our trip to Ethiopia, and my selfish thoughts were that this would be a good way to take my mind off of things and keep me busy. By this point I was fully aware that my tank was running on empty and pulling off another garage sale, was going to take everything out of me. As I was going through the piles of stuff  in my 100+ degrees garage (it's freaking hot in Texas) I would just pray. I would pray over every little trinket and shirt praying that not only through this "stuff" we would get closer to bringing Moses home, but that He would be glorified and seen through it. Yes, because, my God can even be glorified through an old t-shirt. In these moments of sweatiness and desperation of crying out to God, He opened my eyes to what his heart is for us, and that in order to be great and feel great we have to serve. That is the only way to experience the fullness of His joy. We don't experience it by sitting around and waiting for Him to bring it to us, we must get dirty,sweaty and uncomfortable and serve Him.  It is amazing how my God can change hearts and perspectives through prayer and His word.

"The greatest among you must be a servant. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."
Matthew 23:11-12

 That weekend we had the garage sale, and because of all that stuff I had sifted through earlier in the week, I had some great conversations with people about adoption and Jesus that produced nothing but glory to God, which in return, brought me an overwhelming amount of pure joy that filled me up completely even though I was physically tired and drained. On top of all of that we were able to raise $1500 on this garage sale! That is enough to cover our guest home stay, remaining court fees, travel expenses and Moses' ticket home. All we have left to buy are Jordan and I's plane tickets. My God is truly a God who moves mountains!

I wish I knew the exact dates of when we were traveling to go get Moses. I wish I had an answer other than, "soon!" when people ask me when he is coming home, but I don't. But God does. The story has already been written and there is not enough busy work or any amount of worrying or sadness that will make that day come sooner. So, we are waiting and counting on Jesus and putting our hope in His word. We are leaving it at that, and still giving Him everyday in between. 

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