Part 1 of 3 of our homestudy is complete. The first visit went really well, even counting Stella's impromptu performance for the social worker of "Single Ladies" by Beyonce, with pelvic thrusts and all! (kids always have perfect timing!) Next week, Jordan and I have our personal interviews. Jordan's interview is Tuesday and mine is Thursday.
The home visit conversations got our brains stirring, which is good, but also a bit overwhelming for a control freak like myself. Once you think that you have your boat in the water and have set it to sail, a big storm comes and starts rocking the boat. Don't worry, no big changes have happened. For the most part, everything is the same, but she gave us a lot to chew on when it comes to certain issues.
Today (the day after our home visit), I felt completely out-of-control, which I hate. I was impatient with God's timing in my life, and decided to make him take the bench for today and put my life back in order MY WAY.Let me tell you how that turned out.Looking back on the day I just realize how unworthy I am of His grace and mercy. That I'm a human being that constantly sins and makes the wrong choices when I'm not confiding in Him first. I definetely was trying to take the wheel from Him today, and tonight I'm sitting here realizing how I failed miserably. On regular days I remind myself, constantly that God is in control, He's on my side, and His love is what compels me. I hate that I have to have days like I had today just to make me realize that I can't do ANY of this without him, but at the same time, I never want to forget that. I'm actually so grateful and amazed that God can allow us to have bad days and still be there for us with arms open wide when we come running back to Him. I serve an AMAZING God.
"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again." 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
So, for all of my prayer warriors. Here's a list of things that I need prayer for in big, big ways.
1. Strength, patience, and hope to get us through the rest of this journey. We're reaching the halfway point and it only gets harder and more complex from here.
2. Finances. The next 2 checks we write will be combined $14,000. Please pray for the grants and adoption loans that we will be applying for. We are also planning on sending out letters to businesses for tax-deductible donations. Right now, as we are on a paperchase, we are also in the fundraising stage, so please pray that God is over all the fundraisers we have going on and all the ones we are trying to get into fruition.
3. Our homestudy interviews. Please pray that the interviews go well, and leaves us with a sense of peace and hope.
4. God's provision. Please pray that He will keep showing us the path, and that we will have the courage and faith to walk down it.
Thanks to all of you that have been with us along this journey so far. We truly feel every thought and prayer. All of the encouraging words truly keep us going.