I am just so overwhelmed in amazement and have been experiencing this joy that is so paralyzing, it's like I almost don't believe it. I have seen a mountain move right in front of my eyes, I have seen and felt LOVE like I never have in my life seen or felt before. I've felt comfort, peace, and provision in a way and in an abundance that I have never seen. Then all of a sudden in my, almost disbelief of moments and times like this in the world existing, I completely lose it and my cup runs completely over just by looking down at this little 19 pound, 28 inches-tall, big-bellied, wide-eyed, beautiful little boy toddling around our home with the sweetest, most captivating expression on his face. He is actually home! I can physically hold him and actually kiss him anytime that I want. This is REAL. This kind of JOY is real and I get the privilege to experience it everyday now through the face of this little boy, and I just can't get a handle on it!
I can't help, but look at Moses and try to figure out what this little guy is thinking. His relationship with us started out with such a vulnerability. This little boy that maybe remembered me from pictures was all of a sudden supposed to trust me to care and provide for his every little need. Of course, this trust has been taking time to build, which he is doing with so much grace. He came to us with absolutely nothing, but the pink onesie, plaid button-up shirt, teddy bear overalls, and little girl white sandals, that he had on his body and a story of loss and grief. He had nothing to offer. And, how relieving, and at the same time scary, would that feel to all of a sudden be embraced by two people and be told that you belong with me, everything that I have is now yours, and I don't care about what you have to bring to the table, or what your story is, I love you exactly where you are right at this moment, and that won't ever change. I can't help but see myself in Moses and realize that this is what God did to me. He adopted me into his family all broken, flawed, with nothing to offer Him. He told me to trust him, and although that was scary, and it still is, I did. Because you can't be free to live when you are living in fear. He showed me everything belonged to Him and He said it was all for me because He loves me, and Oh, how He loves us. And thus started the beginning of an absolutely beautiful relationship.
We are at the beginning of a beautiful new journey, completely transformed by the last. Our relationship with Moses is just beginning and I can't wait to see and write the next chapter of our story...
Thank you everyone for all of your sweet comments, texts, and taking care of us during this transition time. But most importantly, thank you for praying! They have been felt and you interceding has carried us through. I promise soon to post about our trip and post pictures as well. Believe it or not, I don't have as much down time as I used to.
In the meantime, please continue to pray for us and our transition. Everyone's health seems to be bad right now. I just got over something I picked up in Ethiopia, and now Jordan is down for the count. Sweet Moses had been such a trooper in the millions of doctor's appointments he has been to. He definitely has a couple of bigger issues that is requiring specialist and lots of meds. Please pray for healing for him, and for Jordan and I to remember God is STILL in control, even after the airport.
